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John Michener's avatar

We didn't play the Ivy game. We targeted our flagship state university - the University of Washington. My kids found that ~ 75% of their peers in Honors / IB programs in high school were the children of highly educated South and East Asian immigrants - and they were very much grinds. Most of the Anglo students were unwilling to study that hard.

I work in tech and I told my kids - welcome to your workforce peers. You will have to reasonably match them. You will be working with and competing with them for the rest of your life. Even in a good school system I was not impressed with the standards - so I supplemented them.

My daughter's comments was that her friends had Chinese dragon mothers, Hindu elephant mothers, and she had an American Eagle father.

My daughter dropped out of high school after 10th grade to do early admission and her Civil Engineering degree. My son did Running Start and then did Business - MIS. A lot of my son's classmates were Chinese students. My son was not that impressed.

When I went to high school there was a similar situation - but I was competing with the children of the Holacaust survivors, who were also outsiders and very academically oriented.

My son works in tech now and his peers definitely are an international bunch. The civil engineering workforce is not as international.

I think the signalling function is particularily important outside of STEM. There is signalling within STEM, but it works somewhat differently snf strongly depends upon specifics - are you targeting academic reputation, industrial / startup, ... and there is strong field dependence as well.

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James Mills's avatar

Abandoning the vast elite status game is a reward unto itself. You might lose some money and status... but you'll show courage and gain resilience and integrity.

I just wish these people admitted that they were engaged in a status game. That is the ONE topic that none of them will ever discuss. It makes them uncomfortable...

https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/its-not-real

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