Gentlemanliness is surely one of the more under-cultivated and under-appreciated virtues in our time.

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Mar 9, 2023Liked by Aporia

This point of this article should be obvious, but for some people, unfortunately not. Nobody ever won an ally by being a jerk.

It also brings to mind a related point: when did becoming mature in mind and body become such a social liability? Remember when we held open doors for our elders? A lack of respect for one’s elders is a sign of a shallow and decadent society. My grandmother lived to 94 and was always the center of wisdom in our family.

Cultures that survive the test of time revere their elders and consult them. Native Americans, Asians, Latin Americans, pretty much everyone but the recent iterations of western countries. These are countries in the greatest cultural decline, and despite the latest technological innovations, are hollowing out spiritually, in the broadest sense of that term.

Our young people are in serious trouble, and the increasing suicide rates of young people is the tip of the iceberg. If we had better ways of bringing the young and the old into conversation, we might see tremendous benefits.

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Very true.

Derogating women for aging is counter monogamy (and polygyny is counter aging women).

People need to accept that lifelong monogamy (the ideal) involves young women choosing partners less physically attractive than themselves and, once they get old, older men staying faithful to their now less physically appealing partners. This is the only way to minimax on mate value discrepancy.

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This is deeply British in its Toryism, and yes, it's something I often notice is missing in US conservatism. "Americans don't have inside voices," as my father used to say.

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"Being civilized means being polite and respectful."

Time is neither polite or respectful when it comes to the ageing of the human body - especially for women. Better for a young woman to be jolted into reality with a callous remark about some Hollywood bimbo who's squandered her youth, than for her to have to face the exact same crisis when she hits the wall in another 10 years time ..... at which point it's too late. These remarks are not really aimed at the women who have hit the wall, they're aimed at all the young, naive and deluded women reading through the comments / tweets who believe their 20's are going to last forever (because our culture no longer contains any WISDOM - just marketing and ideological nonsense).

"Conservatism stands for restraining humankind’s bestial appetites, their impolite impulses, and their focus on the ephemeral."

The whole thing about 'hitting the wall' goes far deeper than men's preference for youthful women (twitter is hardly suited for nuance and deep analysis). The (mostly) conservative men who make these 'wall' comments are assuming the role of female elders giving harsh reality checks to their grand daughters. Female elders seem to have disappeared from modern culture (break up of extended family households etc).

The offensive part is what feminism and consumerism has done to modern women, which is nothing short of betrayal. Take feminism's golden girl, Emma Watson. She's lived the feminist dream, successful actress, model, materially rich, UN Women ambassador, socialite...... but now she's hit 30 and no man (of any quality) wants her. And why would they? She's had at least a dozen failed relationships (that we know of) which means a TON of emotional baggage. She's a feminist which means she is anti men and views herself as a passive victim (not attractive qualities). And she's well past her fertile years. She's addicted to the spotlight, which makes her an unsuitable mother. She's hounded wherever she goes (what man is going to want that?). And here's the most crucial part .... any man of equivalent age, wealth and social status is going to be able to attract a wife 10 years younger than Emma, who is feminine, fertile, not weighed down by emotional baggage, doesn't hate men, and really wants to be a mother and homemaker (with career as a secondary priority).

Emma's hit the wall visually (it's always worse for skinny women with little body fat to hide the wrinkles and sag), but even if she still had a youthful looking face, she's still hit the wall biologically. Once the paparazzi lose interest in her she'll be a lonely old feminist with a big house that smells of cat litter.

"Disparaging a woman’s appearance as she ages is not telling an important truth; it’s reducing her to flesh and belittling her for not being able to stop time."

But the 'wall' comments are only ever critical of women who have exploited their youthful looks (sexual market value) exclusively, and at the expense of all other female/ human qualities and skills that they could have enhanced (character, moral integrity, motherhood, devotion to a partner, intelligence, kindness, humility etc).

The point is that they have reduced themselves to flesh and belittled themselves (they are bimbos), believing the magic carpet ride that is 'being a woman in your 20's' will somehow last forever.... but it doesn't. It stops very, very quickly once you hit your 30's.

In the space of just a couple of years you can go from clubbing every night and having attractive men buy you drinks and meals and clothes .... to desperately trying to find a partner to have kids with before your eggs die, and finding that all the good men are taken, and the only ones who will consider you (and all your baggage) are divorced men in their 40's with an ex and kids from his previous marriage to contend with. That's a huge comedown.

Only women who settle down and start a family in their 20's (as biology prefers), have the luxury and privilege of being able to hit the wall and grow old gracefully (and stress free), because they have a loving husband and kids who value her as a whole person. These women do not have to suffer the humiliation and stress of trying to outcompete women 10 years younger in order to find a quality partner. And nobody ever makes 'wall' remarks at them, because they are growing old gracefully. They haven't built a lifestyle and a persona that requires them to maintain their sexual market value throughout their 30's, 40's and 50's.

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> Female elders seem to have disappeared from modern culture (break up of extended family households etc).

We have been mocked into silence, as we've grown up watching our female elders mocked as they've aged. This mocking, this flick-of-the-wrist dismissal of *obviousness* that women are simply the sum of their physical parts in relation to the man who swore to love her completely, I think most of the aging female population has just been so denigrated for so long, we don't care. You can only be disrespected and hushed and objectified until you're empty and irrelevant for so long before something stops trying to cut through the noise to speak wisdom.

If you want the elderly female wisdom to inform society, you have to treat all females, from cradle to grave, with respect.

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Strongly disagree with this take, because the actress is question is in fact a prostitute and does not have children https://247newsaroundtheworld.com/celeb-gist/theres-too-much-politics-around-motherhood-says-emilia-clarke/

In this article, we have a 36 year old saying she is childless but might "still want to have them."

This should absolutely be dealt with by making an example out of her, pointing out that she is spinster age and is out of eggs and it is her fault, and she is a bad person, because all of these things are true, and younger women need to know them.

I would have agreed with you if she were at least a mother, but we need to be done tolerating high IQ women "deciding" to not have children by 36 while making a living getting nude on camera. It should be dealt with severely. A conservatism that cannot call a whore a whore is decadent and worthless.

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Lol Joseph, aren't you the one that says this is all mutational load? Wouldn't we want women carrying it not to reproduce? We can just clone the rest.

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I agree with not being unnecessarily obnoxious in public, but this—“Conservatism stands for restraining humankind’s bestial appetites, their impolite impulses, and their focus on the ephemeral.”—isn't conservatism, it's just puritanism. Bring back the spirit of the conservative Cavaliers over the sour, progressive Roundheads, of the conservative Ancien Régime over the sour, progressive Jacobins.

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Jon Miller is and has been clearly deranged for quite sometime. Unfollowed him long ago. He and his ilk are akin to The Joker “just want to watch the world burn” paradigm.

The fact “we” even react to him is a stain on the proper Conservative and Dissident movements that would actually like to see a better world.

Nice article but I think we need to detach ourselves from even discussing folks like him.

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Hi Marshall, thanks for the comment. However, we are striving to be incredibly polite and charitable. As such, we don’t want any ad hominem in the comments. We are still working out our moderation policy, but this type of thing would likely be a warning.

Obviously, we assume that you’re a polite and normal human until shown otherwise. Seeing as you didn’t know the rules, don’t worry. Just letting you know for the future!

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Talk about monogamy looks funny, considering that in the middle Western country a woman “gets married” at thirty years old, an amazing “monogamy” in which a woman spends her youth not on her “husband”, but on other men, and then with great probability destroys the marriage by divorce, and takes his children. Given that conservatives don't plan to do anything about it, it's safe to say that this "monogamous marriage" will become less and less attractive because it looks like a scam (because it is).



Is Emilia Clarke a decent woman? No, she's just a TV porn actress. And there is nothing surprising or unfair in the fact that she is judged solely on her appearance and age, because she has nothing else. This also applies to the vast majority of Western women. They chose it themselves.

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